well I've not talked bout my new class yet have I, so here's a class pic

everyone's here, it's pretty cool that everyone like everyone else, no bitchyness, no fights, surprising actually, considering we're in 'high school'

everyone has their own personailty, honestly, more motivation for me to believe that everything happens for a reason.

yup this is 1F

How bout that, getting all excited about seeing Daughtry and ended up listening to them from the outside, how fucked up is that!! the doors open at 7 and I was there 6.55, AND APPARENTLY ITS NOT EARLY ENOUGH. I was damn close to entering man, how close was I, I was FUCKING close, FUCKING CLOSE!! that's how close!!! AND HOW FULL CAN IT BE! if you let people enter even after you say its a full house? A FEW AT A TIME?!?!?! why do you let them enter if it's a full house??? then what about those who were next in line?? those people can enter and I can't?? if you were going to allow people entry even after the showcase has started, then you shouldn't drag!!!

And my line was freaking long can, imagine after waiting in such a long line and coming so close to entering and DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!

I'm not mad, I'm frustrated!!

FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I really wanted to see them.............................

damn...

In Memory

Here's to the victims of 9/11, and to their families, 6 years on...

ok I know this is not something you wanna read after not blogging for three weeks, but there are just some very FUCKED UP people in this world, who won't fucking grow up. Bitch doesn't even dare to do it openly, just so your bigger you think I'll get afraid. well screw you bitch, I'm so tolerating you right now. don't think just cause I look that helpless that I can't do things that can screw you up. I may not be as strong as you but I'll find a way, I can be damn ruthless if I want too. keep doing what you doing and just watch out man. fucking ass bitch, can't wait to kick you outta here. try to be a man dumb ass.........

just spoilt my mood, and now I won't sleep well....

hello hello, Happy Post National Day =) not that I'm that excited though lolz. ah yes national day, the one day where everyone is just a little bit more patriotic then usual. but I just gotta say, my interest on ND has slowly faded away throughout the years, one of the reason being that it's just getting more and more boring. and don't get me started on the national day song, "will you"???? WTF, what happen to songs like "Home" by Kit Chan or "Where I Belong" by Tanya Chua, they ain't finding the right people to write these songs anymore.

well what did you do on ND?? I was stupid enough to want to catch the fireworks "in the flash" (pun intended) and so I headed down to marina bay hoping to get a few nice pics. I honestly regretted it.

since marina bay is like a 20 min walk from my house, I started to walk from Clarke Quay at 7.15, I was all exited carrying my tripod and camera along heading to my destination, half way on my journey I started to see the amount of people gathered started to increase and I totally expected it so I just went on my merry way. when I start nearing the Fullerton Hotel, that's when everything was pretty chaotic, there were people everywhere, on the grass fields, sitting on the railings, everywhere!! I thought it's kindda normal for this much of people to gather, so I continued to push through the crowd. then, I hit a road block, literally, just outside the Fullerton Hotel, it was so packed that I could not even squeeze myself through. not being that stupid I started to turn back and head out of the crowd. I found a spot where there ain't many people, so I stood there waiting for the fireworks, it was about 8.05 by then and the fireworks were gonna start soon, alright so the the fireworks started and everyone started snapping, so did I(I didn't even use my tripod coz there weren't any place to set up) and what a let down it was, I'll cover on that in a while.

so the fireworks popped and the people cheered and cameras snapped, and when everything was over, what do we do, leave right, that's what the hundreds and thousands of people who crammed around the bay wanted to do, all at once.... while traffic was still moving and Police Officers screaming "PLEASE STAY ON THE PAVEMENT!!!" apparently many people think that coz it's national day, or maybe that after the show, roads will be closed so that they can leave the small, hot, stuffy position they were at, THE ANSWER'S NO PEOPLE!!!. well apparently many didn't process that in their mind and started crossing the road without even thinking. and that's not the worst part, imagine the hundreds and thousands leaving through small pathways... and if you know Singapore well, you'll know there are many who can't wait and have to shove their way thorough the slow moving crowd.

I was not that dumb, I stood at a corner and allow the eager crowd to leave first. I pitied the Police Officer, at the same time, saluting them for clearing the crowd in around 30 min. well on to the fireworks, one word, disappointing, and I'm being nice. honestly a let down, a few pretty interesting ones, many ordinary colored ones and some big ones at the end. boring people... my heart wasn't racing, I wasn't in awed. adding up the regret for going. I remembered one New Years Party and the firework were bright and colorful, and it was so large and loud my heart was pounding n my chest. maybe it was also the fact that I was at a bad location....

and here's my very long blog post in a long time. maybe I should voice my thoughts more often. amd yes I shall. so Till then, Till the next post

well it has been 2 weeks since the new school term started, and if your still in the dark, where the hell have you been....??

ok so the new experience is kindda fun, not at all stressed, lol =), but not counting my chickens before they hatch, life can get more stressful with the weeks to come.

So what will you be doing on the National Day?? or on the eve?? well unless someone ask me out, I'd be at home alone..... even my mom would be getting more "action" than me, she'd be heading to Clarke Quay to club on wed night and out with friends to catch the fireworks on national day...

yes my life is pretty pathetic, I know I'll be telling myself that, so go ahead say it. and thus my whole day has been ruin...... haiz...

well, 4 months has come and gone.... most people are excited to get back to school, not me though, for reasons some may know, some may not. but I'm content to at least enjoy the last few days... still, it's hard not to feel down.

I recently wrote a song... and since I don't own a musical instrument, let alone know how to play one, I guess it's considered a poem. so here it is.

"Comfortable"

I ask myself who am I
Somehow I don’t know
Of who I am, what I like
Can’t seem to take control

But than I thought, it hit me
Cause maybe I do know
That I’m just terrified
Scared of the unknown

Scared to even let me know

I tell myself who I am
I guess it makes me feel safe
And time pass, I accept my fate
I make it who I am

You think you know me
You know what you see
There’s a fog around me
It blurs the image seen
It’s no shield, it’s no mask
Just a fog, only bits of me can pass

You’re around people, who feel comfortable
They know who they are
You want to follow, take example
But than it hit you like a car
It’s not that simple, allowing people
To read about your life
Like an open book in the library
It scares the shit out of my mind

I don’t want to be like this
Suffocating, I’m losing air
Now I know what it’s like to really feel scared
I live in a world where my life’s pre-destined
Carved in stone, there’s just no chance
The life I want is not in there

I fear off what people would think
‘Bout the fact that I’m not like them
Not as much as something else
Rejection, being alone
But most of all, my biggest fear
Even something I am
Is not enough, that I suck
At things that I want to be

You think you know me
You know what you see
There’s a fog around me
It blurs the image seen
It’s no shield, it’s no mask
Just a fog, only bits of me can pass

But most of all, in the end
What I think I want
A shoulder, an ear, to cry, to hear
Someone to be near
Someone I can pour my heart out
More than just a friend
A secret book, a close kin
Something better yet
To love and be loved
For who I am, no matter what it is
To live happily ever after
No matter how cliché it is

You think you know me
You know what you see
There’s a fog around me
It blurs the image seen
It’s no shield, it’s no mask
Just a fog, only bits of me can pass

Just waiting for someone
To see through the fog
And get right to me.

currently it's titled "Comfortable" but since I have changed the title twice already, it won't be "Comfortable" for a very long. hope you guys (the very small hand full of you who happens to read my blog) like it =)